We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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