Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
