I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
