things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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