blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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