There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
