Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
