you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
