My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
