Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
