Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
