when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
