you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i out mim tonsoeep
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
