We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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