i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
