i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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