ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've blown a few things in my day
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
