And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
