I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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