Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
