wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why do cheetos always look like penises
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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