You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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