But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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