those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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