I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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