i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
