Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
