Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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