what day is it and did you see me today?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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