Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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