my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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