I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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