i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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