He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
