At least make sure they are 18
Why
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
