So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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