That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
