Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
