Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
