omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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