DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
