i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
