dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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