True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
