Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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