Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
