He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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