Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
