im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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