I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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