Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
