Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
